Tulane, Let's Talk

I am a Tulane student. I am aware from friends, classmates and student leaders that sexual misconduct and aggression happens on our campus like it does on other campuses, but no one seems to talk about it. I believe that we can promote healing on campus if we can talk to one another and understand this problem through each others' experiences. The silence makes it so that we don't have enough information about what's going on.
Have you been involved in sexual misconduct? Are you a faculty member? A friend? Have you seen it happen? Do you think you've partaken in it?
Join the conversation to heal the Tulane community and end its culture of rape.

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Text Trial by Twitter

“We need to spot the rapists, and we need to shut down the social structures that give them a license to operate. They are in the population, among us…Change the culture. To rape again and again, these men need silence. They need to know that the right combination of factors — alcohol and sex shame, mostly — will keep their victims quiet…if we are going to put a dent in the prevalence of rape, we need to change the environment that the rapist operates in”

Thomas MacAuley Millar, “Meet the Predators”

With the advent of new mass media, victims of sexual assault have a novel method of sharing their stories not available to previous generations. Instead of, or in addition to, whispering to a nurse on an examination table or divulging under florescent lights in a police station, survivors have the chance to inform countless others with the click of a mouse. Though it is estimated that only half of sexual assault victims report the crime to the police, some spread news of their ordeals or the names of perpetrators over different avenues: Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, mass text, email, etc. Many of these victims are seen as heroes, “’reporting’ the assault directly to the people who need the information most—other women living in these rapists’ communities. And they’re risking their own names and reputations in order to bring their assailants out into the open”.

Yet the ethics of accusing an alleged rapist in a public forum, but not in a court of law, are sketchy at best. The Guardian’s Jill Filipovic counters allegations of vigilante justice with a comparison to similar informal claims of other crimes:

Concerns about the burden of proof and vigilantism are sometimes legitimate, but those same concerns don’t seem to arise when someone says, “my super broke into my apartment and stole my stereo” or “my grandmother’s caretaker has been pilfering money from her purse.” There’s no admonishment to withhold personal judgment or not take action; there’s no suggestion that the accuser is probably lying or that she should keep her mouth shut until a jury of her peers finds the alleged criminal guilty.

While protection for the wrongfully accused is necessary, it would be unfair to force a person to turn over their story to a court of law before anyone is permitted to believe him or her. Libel and defamation laws exist for good reason, and can be pursued by anyone who believes himself to be falsely accused. Yet new mass media presents an important avenue with the potential to lessen the stigma of rape and share information in a less pressured environment. As eloquently stated by KJ Dell’Antonia of the New York Times,“today those things appear on Twitter or other social media — and the single good thing about that public ugliness is that it can no longer be ignored.”
Text Trial by Twitter: Savannah Dietrich

In an unfortunately familiar story, in the summer of 2011, 16-year-old Savannah Dietrich attended a party, drank too much, and passed out. Two acquaintances took advantage of the unconscious teen, sexually assaulting her and taking photos of the assault they later forwarded to friends. In an interview with the local Louisville Courier-Journal, Dietrich reported, “For months, I cried myself to sleep. I couldn’t go out in public places. You just sit there and wonder, who saw (the pictures), who knows?”. Dietrich pressed charges, and the assailants eventually accepted a plea deal that included a completely sealed record, as the two boys were juveniles. Dietrich was given an order as well: not to speak about the details of the case, or risk 180 days in prison and a fine of $500.

Hurt and offended by what she felt to be a slap on the wrist for her attackers, Dietrich decided to violate the court order and make her own justice in the court of social media. She took to Twitter, authoring a series of tweets against her assailants: “If it means going to jail, so be it. They took away my rights before and I’m not gonna let you take away anymore”; Naming her assailants, she wrote “There you go, lock me up. I’m not protecting anyone who made my life a living Hell”. She wrote on her Facebook page, “If reporting a rape only got me to the point that I’m not allowed to talk about it, then I regret it. I regret reporting it”.

In response to her violation of the court order, one of the boys’ lawyers filed a contempt motion “for violating the confidentiality of the juvenile court”. But instead of silencing Dietrich, her story attracted coverage by AP, Newsweek, Huffington Post, Jezebel, Slate, ABC’s Nightline and others. A Change.org petition garnered 125,318 supporters in two days—one of the fastest-growing petitions in the site’s history to that point.

The boys withdrew the contempt motion. One layer claims Dietrich’s actions have ruined their lives—forcing his client to move, change schools and jeopardize future prospects. Though his client was found guilty in a court of law, the lawyer claims, “He’s just overwhelmed and devastated by what started from the conduct of this young girl saying false things as she did”. Dietrich stands by her tweets, and by the statements she finally became able to make publicly after returning to court and successfully having the records unsealed. Dietrich has become a victim’s rights advocate in the wake of her ordeal, hosting public Facebook and Twitter pages in addition to her own private accounts to share news and awareness with several thousand supporters.
Text Trial by Twitter: Chloe Rubenstein

American University student Chloe Rubenstein posted a note on her Facebook page on April 22, 2010. The message to her nearly 1,000 friends began with the banner “ATTENTION WOMEN”, and went on to identify two fellow AU students by name, calling them rapists, and warning, “we should all be aware! Stay away at all costs”. Rubenstein allegedly interrupted a friend being date raped, and shortly after was told by another friend that she had recently been raped by a peer. A rape survivor herself, Rubenstein decided to brave potential legal and social consequences and draw attention to these alleged predators. More girls came out of the woodwork, speaking to her about their experiences with sexual assault, and several claiming that the students mentioned in her note had victimized them as well. After several days of both support and harassment, Rubenstein removed the note, replacing it with a status that said:

I don’t clear my status because I’m scared. I clear it for legal reasons and because my message reached 968 people. If you or someone you know has been raped or sexually assaulted and needs a safe place to talk about how they feel or what can be done, please contact me. No Fear. No Secrets. 2010.

Rubenstein’s ultimate goal was not aimed at assisting her friends, but at warning others about the possible dangers these men represented. In a study conducted by David Lisak and Paul M. Miller, within a sample of 1,882 men, 76 (4%) were found responsible for an estimated 439 attempted and completed rapes. Lisak and Miller also determined that nearly 2/3 of rapists are repeat offenders, and within their sample, the 76 repeat rapists averaged 5.8 rapes each. Rubenstein utilized the public forum available to her through Facebook to try and limit the reach of offenders. In an interview with The Washington City Paper, Rubenstein said, “I promised myself that I would do whatever I possibly could when this happened to people I know. I just didn’t expect it to happen to so many of them”.
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Notes If You Didn’t Already Know…

Tulane SAPHE (Sexual Aggression Peer Hotline and Education) is currently recruiting new members for the 2013-2014 school year! For those of you who don’t know, we’re a group of 20-30 students who run a 24/7 hotline dedicated to helping those affected by sexual aggression. We also conduct various outreach and educational events throughout the year to raise awareness of sexual assault and support for survivors.

The application is due April 23rd. Please feel free to contact Madelaine Hock (mhock@tulane.edu) if you have any questions. I encourage you to apply- this is your chance to change Tulane’s sexual culture for the better.
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Notes

I go through the motions each day, trying to mask the pain I feel inside by keeping a smile on my face. I was molested when I was a child. Since then, I have been stalked by three guys. Two of these happened since coming to Tulane. I don’t even want to begin to count the amount of times that I have been sexually assaulted because a guy feels like he has a right to my body.

I don’t think that I deserve a guy that respects me. I think that everything that has happened to me is payback for something that I have done. I feel worthless and used. So, I go through the motions everyday, trying to hide the pain I feel inside by keeping a smile upon my face…but the truth is, I don’t know how I can smile.
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Notes I’m not part of your pledge experience

Whatever frat has their pledges wearing pins and told them to kiss any girl who touches one: STOP IT.

I accidentally touched your pledge’s pin. He grabbed my arm and held me as he kissed me.

I never told him he could kiss me.

Your frat does not get to make decisions about who kisses me.

Oh, then he followed me around the Boot for at least 20 minutes and kept trying to grab my hand and make me touch the pin again.

This is your version of brotherhood? Giving your pledges permission to get handsy with women? Efficient way to take our thoughts out of consideration, I guess.
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Notes It’s Sad to Say

It’s sad to say, but I think most girls here have had experiences where, after saying flat out “no”, they are continually groped at the boot; even in attempts to pull away.
Text How Slut Shaming Becomes Victim Blaming

This youtube video was made in response to Jenna Marbles’ “Things I Don’t Understand About Girls: Slut Edition.” It discusses how ‘slut shaming’ further contributes to the emotional burden that survivors of sexual assault often carry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l3h8fzv-BM&list=UUzkFu0AVOtXy-vTo028mJxw
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Notes UNC Rape Survivor Faces Potential Expulsion for "Intimidating" her Rapist
Text So Thankful for Bystanders

One night my friend and I went to the Boot to pick up one of our friends. She was by the bathroom so we had to cross the bar in order to get through her. While weaving through the dance floor, a guy grabbed me around the waist, pulled me backwards, and started thrusting his pelvis all over me. I moved his hand and continued across the dance floor. He grabbed me a second time and continued forcefully dancing with me. I grabbed his wrists and threw his hands off me.

As I moved away from him he grabbed me by the neck from behind and pulled me backwards. This time he kept one arm around my neck the entire time he assaulted me. While he was grabbing my throat, I made eye contact with a Tulane football player a few feet away. He and a fellow teammate walked over and grabbed the guy. While the first player dealt with the man who attempted to choke me, the second player walked me to the side of the dance floor and asked if I was okay. He then helped me find the friend I came to get, and the one who I had originally entered the bar with. Once we found everyone, he walked the three of us back to our dorm and made sure I was alright before leaving.

I am really thankful for those Tulane football players. I have no idea what their names were and we never spoke since, but they were amazing that night.
Text The guy who turned out not to be a friend

Second semester my freshman year I went out with a bunch of my friends to some bars near campus. Throughout the night, as people started to head back to their houses, one of my guy ‘friends’ offered to walk me home from Maple St. Once we reached my dorm, he walked in and we started talking about the night. I laid down in my bed and started to drift off, hoping he would get the hint that I was tired.

While my eyes were closed he sat down on my bed and put his hand on my shoulder. At first I thought he was just checking to see if I was okay. Then he put his other hand under my covers and up my skirt. When I told him I didn’t want to sleep with him he told me that I was a bitch for leading him on all night, that I used him to walk me home.

I tried to tell him that I thought he was just being nice when he climbed on top of me. I asked him to stop and he didn’t listen. When I tried to get off the bed he held me by the throat and told me that I owed him. He removed my underwear and had sex with me, periodically holding me by the throat. He promised if I was quiet he wouldn’t tell anyone what a little whore I was. When it was over, he acted as if nothing had happen and said he would see me around.

I never told any of my friend’s what had happened. I couldn’t be around him, so I stopped hanging out with them. I was scared no one would believe me because he was their ‘friend’. I found a new friend group and avoid him when possible, but I no longer trust anyone, not even a friend, to walk me home.
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Notes Everyone should watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l3h8fzv-BM&list=UUzkFu0AVOtXy-vTo028mJxw

At Tulane, a lot of people use alcohol as a convenient means to make sex less awkward. But sometimes I get drunk because I’m depressed, and once I blacked out and agreed to do things I would never do sober. Just because someone says they want to do something doesn’t mean they won’t feel terrible when they’re sober.
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Notes

projectunbreakable:

The posters read:
“How can a girl rape a boy?”

- Nearly everyone I tried to tell for the first four years after it happened.

“Man up.”

- My then-fiance in response to the panic attack I was having, caused by seeing my rapist for the first time since the incident had occurred eight years previous.
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A student-made shirt from SAPHE’s Project Clothesline
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One time I was at The Palms dancing with my guy friend, and this complete other random guy came up behind me, forcibly danced with me, and after about 10 seconds of me trying to find a polite way to bail, he decided to push me up against a wall and whip his junk out on the dance floor. I shoved him away and nothing happened, but it made me feel so disgusting and like somehow I had done something I was unaware of to illicit that kind of behavior, which is so wrong, but I know a lot of girls who have been in similar situations feel the same way.